Image provided by: Joanne Skelton; Cottage Grove, OR
About Halsey enterprise. (Halsey, Linn County, Or.) 19??-1924 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 16, 1922)
I rw> nud'ence almost suiiocated him. I “ Wen,” Lt ixncllofed, “II rt«m*t look I right to me.” I I e ILALSKV ENTERPRISE i ’ n r .p e ’ Yes. It Is, and I ’ll h a v /n ij “Four minutes!” the chairman an say. yon boorjaw fn .e r, and vou can nounced. for Kaiusey's pauses had hammer your ole gavel to pieces ut worn away a great deal more of this ma!" terrible Interval than had his elo He had begun to shriek; moisture quence. “Opening statement for the felj from his brow ui.d Ids mouth : the negative: Miss D. Yocum. Four min scandalized society was oo its feet, utes." moving nervously Into groups. Evi As Dora began to speak. Ramsey dently the meeting wns shout to dis ‘ experienced a little relief, but only a integrate. “I ’ll have my say!" the I little—about the same amount of relief comparative merits In argument frenzied Llnskl screamed. "You try ; as that felt by a bridegroom when it should be taken. The Interruption to put up this capltalls* trick and work ls the bride's turn to " ‘respond," not 1 was from the rear row of seats along '• fake to carry over this debate ngalns’ really relief at all, but merely the the wall, where sat new members of Uholtnuny, but you can't work It on slight relaxation of a continuing the society, freshmen not upon the me, lenune tell you ! I ’ll have my say!" strain. The audience now looked at program of the evening. A loud nasal The outraged chalrmnn was wholly Ramsey no more than people look at a voice was heard from this quarter, a at a Iocs how to deal with the “un | bridegroom. but he failed to perceive loud hut nasnl voice, shrill as well as .Copvr*3htj>y DoubliSiy. Page 4 Company precedented situation"—so he defined i rny substantial mitigation of his nasal, and full of a strange hot pas It. quite truthfully; and he continued | frightful conspicuousness. He had not slon. “Mr. Chairman I" It cried. “Look- SYNOPSIS to pound upon the desk, while other pretty figure lu white. Members In i the remotest idea of what he had said a-here, Mr. Chairman! Mr. Chairman. Rumsey’s neighborhood were aware of ' in setting forth bis case for Germany, I demaud to be heard! You gotta gim “ a brief and hushed commotion, and a and he knew that It was his duty to me my say. Mr. Chairman! I'm a- n fierce whisper, "You can’t I You get listen closely to Dora, In order to be guana have my say! You look-a-here up there!" And the blanched Ramsey able to refute her argument when his Mr. Chairman!” came forth and placed himself at the two-minute closing speech fell due: Shocked by such a breach of order •o other desk. but lie was conscious of little more and by the unseemly violence of the J' He stood before the silent popu thnn his own condition. His legs had speaker, not only the chairman but lace of that morgue, and it seemed to now gone wild beyond all devilry, and everyone else looked there. A short “ him that his features had forgotten lie hud to keep shifting his weight from strong figure was on Its feet, gesttcu that he was supposed to be their own- one to the other in order even to hope latlng fiercely; and the head belonging that their frenzy might escape gen- to It wns a large one with too tnud « sr and In control of them ; he felt that ■ they were slipping all over his face, oral attention. curly black hair, a flat swarthy face a ' regardless of his wishes. His head, He realized that Dora was speaking shiny and not immaculately shaven: as a whole, was subject to an agita- rapidly and confidently, and that some there was an Impression of Ill-chosen niupuB, ne round himself the center tlon not before known by h im ; It de- where in his Ill-assembled parts lurked clothes, too much fat red Up. too much of h group of his own clKssinntes • sired to move rustlly In eccentric ways a fam iliar bit of him that objected to tooth, too much e.vebnll. Fred Mitchell «’horn he at first mistook for soplio- > of Its own devising; his legs alternate- her even more than usual; but she had recognized this violent Interrupter as ' ly limbered and straightened tinder no used half of her time, at least, before one Llnskl. a fellow freshman who am big stiff"— he waved his passionate nores, such was their manner. . . . As this group broke up a few hand at the paralyzed Ramsey— “you i i direction but their ow n; and his hands he was able to gather any coherent next him in one of his classes. “Whnt' clutched each other fiercely behind his meaning from what she was saying. that cuss up to?" Fred wondered. au< pick out a boob like that fer the Clio- minutes later, a youth running to Join It, scenting somewhat of interest, de inun side, a poor fish that glta stage hack; he was not one cohesive person, Even then he caught only a fragment, so did others. Llnskl showed them. ’ evidently, but an assembled collection here and there, and for the rest—so He pressed forward, shoving himself fright so bad he don't know whether tained ono of those who were depart- ng. i of parts which had relapsed each Into lar as Itamsey was concerned—she through the two rows In front of him he’s talkin’ or dead; or else he fakes [ Its own Individuality. In spite of them. might as welt have been reciting the till he emerged upon the green carpet It; because he's a speaker so bum It "What's up? What was that squeal- ngF' he somehow contrived the semblance Swedish alphabet. of the open space, and us lie came, he looks more to me like he was faking. Yon git this big stiff to fake the Cliol ’ of a bow toward the chairman and the “Oh, nothing. We Just talked to In spite of the rather startling fee was cyclonic with words. i semblance of another toward Dora, of bleness of her opponent’s statement, “You don't put no such stuff as this mun side, and then you go and stick that Llnskl. Nobody else touched him, ( whom he was but hazily conscious. Dora went at her task us earnestly as over, 1 tell you!" he shouted In his up a goil again»' him that's got brain.« out Ramsey MUholland gave him a nnd makes a paclffs* argument that peach of a punch on the snoot.” Then he opened his mouth and. not if It were to confute some monster of hot, nasal voice. "This here’s a tie knowing how he had started his voice casuistry. “Thus, having demonstrat country, and you call yourself n de wins the case agalns' the Chotmuns "Whoopee I” going, heard it as if from a distance. Ramsey was laconic In response to ed That all war Is wrong,” she said, ap bating society, do you? Letnme tell like cuttln’ through hog lard I Bui you ain’t a gunna git away with It. Inquiries upon this subject. When "In making my first appearance be proaching her conclusion, “It Is scarce you 1 belong to a debating society In nine one remarked : “You served hlin fore this honor'ble membership I feci ly necessary to point out that what Chicago, where I come from, and them mister. Letnme tell you right her.- nnd now, I may be a ralg blood, but I ight for calling you a boob and a poor restrained to say— ” He stopped ever the actual circumstances of the fellas up there, they’d think they'd Invasion, and whatever the status of ouglita be shot fer u fake like what got some Cholmun tn me with tha rest llah poJ ao on before all the society, short, and thenceforward shook vial what 1 got, and before you vote on irtr’a and all,” Rumsey only suld: bly. After a long pause, he managed the case In International law, or by you Iienple are tryln' to put over, here, this here question yoo gotta hear a to repeat Ills opening, stopped again, reason of treaty, or the German oath tonight. I come down here to git some "Thut wasn't what I lilt him for." few wolds from somebody that can swallowed many times, produced a to respect the neutrality of Belgium, more education, and puy fer it, too, He declined to exifialn further. talk ! Thia whole war la a capltalls' handkerchief and wiped his face, an which of course was grossly and dis In good hard money I've made sweatin' war. Belgium as much as Cholmuny, act of necessity— then had an Inspira honorably violated—all this, I say, la In a machine shop up there In Chi- , (To lie continued) nnd the United States Is sellln' Its gbul dles and gentlemen of the Lumen so cago; hut If this Is the kind of educa- I tion. to the capltalls' right now, I tell you, "The subject assigned to me," he ciety, all this Is beside the point of tlon I'm a-gunna git, I better go on i takln’ aides agalns' Cholmuny. Orders Spoiling a Man. said, “Is resolved that Germany Is morals. Since, as I have shown, all hack there. You call this a square de fer explosives and ammanltlon and war is wrong, the case may be simpli bate, do you?” Occasionally s in " Is «n lied . , mor’ly and legally justified In Bel guns and Red Proas supplies Is cornin' •ause he gets something for not lung gians—Belglums! This subject was fied as follows: All war Is morally He advanced toward the chairman's Into 1 this country by the mllllona. and -Atchison Globe. Quod erat demonstrandum. platform, shaking a frantic fist. "Well, I assigned to me to he the subject of wrong. the capltalls' United States la fat al this debate." He Interrupted himself Germany Invaded Belgium. Invasion ( K y°u do. you got another thlt k i ready on the blood of the. workers of to gasp piteously, found breathing d if Is war. Germany, therefore, did moral ficult, but faltered on again: “This wrong. Upon the legal side, as I began subject Is the subject. It Is the sub by pointing out, Germany confessed In ■ ject that wns assigned to m e on a the reichstag the violation of law. postal card." Then, for a moment or Therefore, Germany wns Justified In so. he had a miraculous spurt of confi the Invasion neither morally nor legal dence. and continued, rather rapid ly: ly; hut was both morally and legally “I feel constrained to say that the tvrong and evil. Ladles and gentlemen of the Lumen society, I await the country of Belgian— Belgium, I mean— 333 W. First street, Albany. this country has been constrained by refutation of my opponent I” th*—Invaded I mean— Invaded by the Her opponent appeared to he having com es personal In hts remarks The m at ter ends with Ram sey, In the university Imperial German Implre and my sub enough trouble with his legs, without vernacular, rtvtn» IJnikl a "peach o f a ject In this debate Is whether It ought taking any added cares upon himself punch on the snoot.” to or not, my being the Infernatlvc, In the way of refutations. But the Four other “ twelve-minute debates” affirmative I mean—that I got to prove marvelous Dora had calculated the preceded his and the sound of these, that Germany Is mor'ly and legally length of her statement with such tn Rsmsey’s ears, was the sound of Justified. I wish to state that—” nicety that the chairman announced Gabriel practising on his horn tn the “Four minutes,” almost upon the In He paused again, leugthlly, then early morning of Judgment day. The struggled on. “I have been requested stant of her final syllable; and all members of the society sat. three rows to state that the German Imp— Empire faces turned once more to the uphold deep, along the walls of the room, —that It certainly Isn't right for those er of the affirmative. “Refutation and leaving a clear oblong of green car Dutch—Germans. I mean— they haven't conclusion by the affirmative,“ said the pet In the center, where were two got any more business In Belgium than chairman. “Mr. R. Mlihnlland. Two small desks, twenty feet apart, the I have m.vseff. hut I — I feel constrained minutes." rostrums of the debaters. Upon a to say that I had to accept whatever Therewith. Ramsey coughed as long platform at the head of the room tat side of thia dehate I got on the postal as he could copgh. and when he felt frame. I I you wish striking proof of dreadful seniors, the officers of the card, and so I am constrained to take that no more should be done In this the universal popularity of the society, and, upon benches near the the side of the Dutch. I mean the way, he wiped his face— again an act P R IN C E T O N frame, drop into the Do you take a« I vantage of the bargain platform, the debaters of the evening Germans. The Dutch are sometimes of necessity—and quaverlngly began : office an<l see whst is worn by the eye- sales when you see them advertised? were aligned. One of the fraternal called— I mean the «Hermans are some “Gentlemen and ladles, or ladles and workers and the brain-workers. The Vou «ave money if you do. seniors sat with sweltering Ramsey; times called the Dutch In thia country, frame designed for comfort and con and the latter, as his time relentlessly but they aren't Dutch, though some gentlemen, In making the refutation The Enterprise ha» a bargain sale ev venience. came nearer, made a last miserable times called Dutch In this country. of my opponent, I feel that— I feel that ery day. For $1.50 in advance it offers hardly anything more ought to be squirm. 52 numbers, each containing ail the l*3o| Well, and so—so, well, the war began said." “Look here. Brother Colburn, I got last August or about then, anyway, newt it can gather in a week and a lot of He paused, looked helplessly at his to get out o’ here." and the German army Invaded the Bel other newa aud miscellaneous reading, uncontrollable legs, and reanmed: “I “No. you don't, young fellow." gian army. After they got there, the and it alto gives the reader four or five am supposed to make the repnta—the “Yes, I do I" Ramsey whispered, pas Invasion began. First, they came good stories in the year, any one one of slonately. “Honest, I do. Honest, around there and then they com refutation of my opponent, and I feel which would cost, in a bookstore, the Brother Colburn, I got to get a drink menced Invading. Well, what I feel that I ought to say quite a deal more In the llrst place, I feel that the Inva price of a year's subscription. a l u n y . o a t a. of water. I got tot" constrained— ” sion has taken place. I am supposed “No. You can’t.” Subscribers paying in advance are the He came to the longest of all his —anyhow I got a postal card that I Harold Albro. "Honest, Colburn, I got « a niamatay of a suiall-lown paper. W ith pauses here, and the awful gravity of am supposed to be here toolght. Well, Manufacturing optician. “Hush I" out subscribers no advertising could lie In talking over this matter with a cou Rainsey cast his dilating eyes along had, and advertising is what brings in ple of seniors, they told me I was sttp- the rows of faces. Most of them were returns to pay expenses. laised to claim this Invasion was mor'ly but as blurs, swimming, yet he was A m o r A . T u ssi n g and legally all right. W ell—" Here, Subscription money pays for white pa aware (he thought) of a formidable hy some chance, the recollection of a and horrible impassive scrutlay of per and presswork. When subscribers LAWYER AND NOTARY word of Dora’s flickered Into his cha himself, a glare seeming to pierce do not pay in advance tlie publisher has otic mind, and he had a brighter mo through him to the hack of the belt to pay these items fifty-two weeks lie- ment. “My opponent said she proved B rownsville , O kkoon round his waist, so that he began to fore he gets returns. With seyersl hun all war Is wrong—or something like have fearful doubts about that belt, dred subscribers in arrears thia amounts that, anyhow. She said she proved If about every fastening and adjustment to a heavy burden to a man of small was wrong to tight, no matter what of his garments, about the expression Well, I f she wasn't a girl, anybodv meant, whereat in paying in advance of his countenance, and many other LIC EN SED F U N E R A L DIREC TO RS that wanted to get her to tight could each subscriber hat to pro«luce only things Jumbling together In his con HA RRISBURG LEBANON proh’ly do It.” He did not add that he $1.50. sciousness. Over and over he whis Rhone 35 Phone 15 would he the person to make the ex pered gaspingly to himself the open Help the publisher to carry bis load Branches at periment ( If Dora weren't a girl), nor ing words of the sentence with which ami he can give you better service. Brownsville, Phone 3 7 0 5 . did the thought enter his mind until an a senior had advised htm to begin his Ilafsey Phone 166, Frank K irk , M g r hour or so later. “Well," he addpd, "I 1 In Halsey a majority of the people pay argument. And as the moment of su suppose there Is little more to he for their paper in advance, but a few of preme agony drew dose. (Ms whisper- •aid." tbepn in town and many outside are in lug became continuous: "In making He was so right. In regard to his own arrears. Most of these, if they realized my first apeurance before tbls honor'- articles no longer ¿needed, or succeeded performance, at least, that, thereupon ble membership I feel const rained to what an improvement could lie made in by better one», which somebody would drying up utterly, he proceeded to say In making my first appearance be the paper with a little money, would like to obtain. An a«lvertisenient the stand, a speechless figure In the midst fore thia honor'ble membership I feel probably pay promptly. That it the size of tbia, coating 25c, might find a of a multitudinous silence, for an eter constrained to say In making my first buyer and covert what is f ' A Q I I way to make a good neWipaoer in a ilty lasting forty-five seconds He made now an IV trash into good Y / a k d l l appearance before this honor'ble mem smalltown. All must co-operate. a racking effort, and at the end of this epoch found words again. “In making Send na your local newa An editor . It had come. The chairman my argument In thia debate, I would alone cannot make a good country news announced the subject of the foorth state that—" freshman twelve-minute debate; and paper. A sparkling Stimulant, Full of W it and a Cam* ta tha Longest of All Hla “Two minutes!" said the chairman. Dora Yocum, hitherto unperceived by Pauses Hare, and tha Awful Gravity "Refutation by the negative. Miss D. Humor, Free copy will lie sent upon Ramsey, rose and went forward to one af tha Audlanca Almaat Suffocated Yocum. Two minutes.” receipt of your name with address com of the small desks In the open space, Him. "I waive them." said Dora, primly. plete. Write to G Mitchell, 397 Pearl th ere cpmpoaedly. • slim " I submit that the affirmative has not Street, Brooklyn, N Y, refuted the argument of the negative." A Illustrations b y x I < If you hive friends they should have your photo* graph. Clifford’s Studio PRINCETON, the all-zylo W R I G H T & P O O I .E h ARMERS « Free “ Hooch V*e